partially f-locked. and then some.

comment or add me if you know me, i guess.

life surprises you in those little moments with rabbit holes and parallel universes. it's basic science: if space is infinite, then anything is possible. less than 48 hours to go and this mix of excitement and fear has coalesced into a mood of...cautious doom.

If you are a FRATSTAR, a SOROSTITUTE, or a PARTY CRASHING GDI FAGGOT,
Posted by anonymous girl '14 04/26/2011 01:31 PM | Last Reply 05/13/2011 06:06 AM

then read my message to you.

People of Cornell, we need to get back into our fucking rhythm. We've turned soft and are losing our top party rankings faster than a Tridelt can lose her leggings. Let's get our shit together, pull our resources, and get back into the game...fourth quarter kinda shit where lebron starts dunking his nuts in everyone's mouths. None of this "oh let's get like ten thirties and a handle and hope there's enough for us and these bitches". No, drive to the liquor store and clear those shelves. CLEAR. THOSE. SHELVES. Clear em and drive a fucking caravan of keystone back to the promised land. We're calling all cars here people, Psi U, Sig Chi, DU, TEP, ATO, Delta Chi, Sammy, DKE, Phi Tau, Pi Kapp, FIJI, Chi Psi, Beta, Zeta Psi, EVERYONE. I wanna see bitches not knowing whether their throats hurt cause they were deep throating all night or if it was a handle of absolut vodka getting rammed down their esophogous.

And for the sororities, start coming out in full force. I'm talking innocent freshman pledge class, sophomore sluts, and the junior and senior coke/bar whores. I'm tired of not knowing whether five chicks will show up or if you're coming at 11 when you say 10 cause it takes you 8 fucking hours to put on lipstick. MORE partying and LESS being bitches. It should take you an hour tops to put your little slutty outfits on, glob some makeup all over those beautiful faces, and POSSIBLY cram in a granola bar (personally I like the chocolate chip and peanut butter ones). I don't want to see any blackberry posses unless your txting freaking Jesus saying to save you a spot in his golden chariot 'cause you don't know if you're gonna wake up from your alcohol blackout coma later on in the night.

All in all, it's time to rage people. More alcohol, turn the fog and bubble machines on, turn those tables, and makes mistakes under the dim shimmer of blacklights. It's time to start winning and it begins with the clank of cold ones hitting the floor after a warm-up shotgun sesh. Let's get after it Cornell. We are getting WAY too obsessed with academics here. Remember us. WE are the titans. WE are the party school of the Ivies, the best of the best in fucking AMERICA. So start acting like it. Fuck Denise Cassaro and her monopoly, you best get your ass down to rage on a Friday night. We only got 3 weeks of school left in this motherfucker. Let's make them one to remember. Over and out.

- J.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"New York is probably, in this regard at least, the strangest city in the world, so many of its denizens living as they (we) do among the unreconstructed remnants of nineteenth-century sweatshops and tenements, the streets pot-holed and buckling while right over there, around the corner, is a Chanel boutique. We go shopping amid the rubble, like the world's richest, best-dressed refugees."
                         
                             ---Michael Cunningham, By Nightfall

spent a week and a half in america, visited nyc, ithaca, evanston and chicago. a last minute decision made out of irrational panic and parental support. it's funny actually seeing new york because it's always been this idea, this projection in my head. it takes on a life of its own in every novel i've read and film i've seen, and there is nothing that can begin to compare, not even london. it was, is, everything and nothing like i envisioned. the skyscrapers don't end, the poverty is alarming, and the sheer vibrancy is contagious. hung out with cat and spent some time catching up and doing stupid shit, glad to have a friend i know i'll keep. everything's surreal though; flying over the pacific to meet a couple of friends in new york city, eating pork buns at momofuku and strolling down central park.

i know that visiting the colleges you've applied to isn't always possible, but if you can, you totally should. i never gave much thought to cornell throughout the (stressful) application process but i fell in love with the campus. there are waterfalls on the way to class! the people i met there were kind, gracious and...not bland. i liked every campus i visited, but there's just something that clicks when you find the school that's right for you, and i believe everyone ends up where they're happy. if i get accepted into northwestern there'll be some pondering to do but i've read that it's better to go to the school that actually wanted you in the first place.

during lunch at nyu i was invited by a trucker dad to sit with him and his son because i looked pretty hapless carrying a tray of food with nowhere to go. he said, "i can see it in his eyes, he wants to go here. we'll find a way to make it work." so earnestly that my heart kind of broke a little. i need to buy an S350 for my dad if i'm able to wing it somehow.

so...life begins in august, biding my time now with hwachong and poker. i'm not sure how i'll feel on the day i have to compress my whole life into a suitcase or two but right now it seems like a final call for boarding. anything and anyone that can't make it i'm probably leaving behind.

coming-of-age yada yada yada, after visiting the campuses i am ready for the next four years of my life, ready to leave, ready to start anew, so goddamned ready that my heart is gonna burst.

caught sucker punch's premiere last night and everyone should watch it. it doesn't have the most compelling story and the different layers of imagination sometimes seem to have a tenuous link at best...but it is definitely engaging, especially visually. plus, the characters are just so damn cool and everything is stylized. the film is trademark snyder, all washed-out colours and short conversations, but he knows what he's doing and oh my god the fight scenes! robot samurai, steampunk wwi with zombies, dragons and orcs, metallic dystopia. been looping the soundtrack as well, new takes on old songs. i wish it was r-rated instead because with pg-13 you can only show so much and it wasn't as gritty as the watchmen, making baby doll's imagination a little constrained at times. doesn't always make sense but i don't think our imaginations are supposed to, anyway.

one more week hyperv e n t i l a t e

( december )

"I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then. There has been no other."
--- Clarissa Vaughan, The Hours
london was a nice reprieve from singapore because this country is too, too small for comfort and it's all the same bland people any day every day. finishing up my last essay although i don't know where i'll end up, but i keep telling myself those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. youth is slipping, can't be irresponsible anymore, pick your friends wisely, even if you're in the gutter you can still look at stars, march please answer my prayers, september come soon, america may not be any better but it can't be any worse

i would rather be wrong
than live in the shadows of your song
my mind is open wide
and now i'm ready to start

gonna conquer essays which are dreadful but this video brings me back to the o2 academy in london. i should stop worrying about college and fuck this shit i am inspired to grow out my hair and shave it win butler style ok i really love arcade fire gotta go learn the guitar and go on the road